Veggie Might: Fruit Gazpacho for the Overcommitted

Written by the fabulous Leigh, Veggie Might is a weekly Thursday column about all things Vegetarian.

We’ve all had these weekends. One day the calendar is empty; you are free to do as you please. Then suddenly, you find that every hour is booked with something Very Important—much of it fun, but still—and your weekend looms like a wobbling Jenga tower.

If you’re like me, the quivering shadow does not mean you will scale back or reprioritize. No. You will keep stacking the pieces, praying to the Scheduling Gods that no one pulls out the wrong block. But I usually do.

However, when one of the activities is a Sunday afternoon potluck/barbecue for 13 foodie adults (plus two wild-eyed cherubs), this recipe for fruit gazpacho will save your sanity.

Fast, cheap (depending on seasonality), and totally manageable, the steps are make a fruit salad, and zap it in the blender. Even chilling in advance is optional; a few ice cubes will do the trick in a pinch.

The peeling and chopping took about 40 minutes, but I found the mindless labor soothing after the blocks took a tumble Saturday afternoon. Once chopped, the fruit needs just a few minutes in the blender or food processor, and you’re done.

Because the fruit is well in season, there is no need for added sugar. The mint adds that je ne sai quoi that all my friends are catching on to. It used to be my secret weapon, but it’s become a trademark. Add mint to just about any fruit dish and you will receive praise to the stars.

Use just about any fruit you like. I found watermelon to be a terrific addition because it was on sale (!) and provided a good amount of liquid. If you opt out of the melon family, you may need to add more juice.

My little fruit soup experiment was a surprise hit at the rain-soaked barbecue. It was delicious if I do say so, and refreshing on what started out to be a sticky, hot day. Despite the rain, it was a perfect Sunday afternoon. I didn’t even care when half the gazpacho hit Kris’s kitchen floor. The blocks had fallen the day before, perspective had been regained (thanks CB), and I was among friends.

~~~

If you’re tickled by this recipe, you’ll flip for

• Sublime Fruit Salad
• Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar
• Grilled Peaches

~~~

The Last Strawberry Fruit Gazapacho
Yields about 16 oz and approximately 6 servings

1 cup watermelon
1 cup pineapple
1 cup mango
1 cup mixed berries (I used strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries.)
1 cup orange juice
2 tbsp lime juice
10 mint leaves, chopped

1) Wash and chop fruit into coarse chunks. You don’t have to be neat about it; it’s all going into the blender/food processor.

2) Whiz the lime juice, watermelon, and yellow fruits together in the blender 1 minute or until smooth. Pour into large bowl or storage container.

3) Combine berries and orange juice in the blender. Zap for 2 minutes or until completely pureed.

4) Add chopped mint leaves and blend for couple of minutes or so.

5) Strain out the berry seeds if you want/have the patience (I didn’t bother). Pour the berry mix into the watermelon mix, and stir to combine.

6) Chill for at least 2 hours or cool down with a few ice cubes to serve immediately.

7) Garnish with mint sprigs; serve to mmms and wows.

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price per Serving
60 calories, 0g fat, 2g fiber, 1g protein, $0.58

Calculations
1 cup watermelon: 46 calories, 0g fat, 1g fiber, 1g protein, $.56
1 cup pineapple: 74 calories, 0g fat, 2g fiber, 1g protein, $.75
1 cup mango: 107 calories, 0g fat, 3g fiber, 1g protein, $.50
1 cup mixed berries: 65 calories, 0g fat, 5g fiber, 1g protein, $1.03
1 cup orange juice: 112 calories, 0g fat, 0g fiber, 2g protein, $.50
2 tbsp lime juice: 14 calories, 0g fat, 0g fiber, 0g protein, $.13
10 mint leaves: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $.02
Totals: 358 calories, 0g fat, 11g fiber, 6g protein, $3.49
PER SERVING (TOTALS/6): 60 calories, 0g fat, 2g fiber, 1g protein, $.58

Cooking for Small Children: 15 Hows, Whens, and … Honey, Please Put That Cleaver Down

Yesterday, I asked parents* how they managed to cook with small children around the house. See, I babysat my two young (adorable, crystal-eyed) cousins last week, and couldn’t figure out where you might fit any slicing, sautéing, or saucing into the schedule. How did they not starve? How did their mom maintain her sanity? Is it okay to sit them in front of Snow White while you chop a cucumber?

Sweet readers, you came through like gangbusters.

As of this morning, we had 41 voluminous, information-packed comments from a plethora of parenting experts (a.k.a. parents). I included as many as I could in this post, editing only for length. The funny thing is, I’d give this advice to anyone, old or young, childless or childful, who is attempting to eat more wholesomely and frugally.

So, here they are: 15 strategies for feeding your small children without resorting to GoGurt or checking yourself into an asylum. As always, the comment section is open if you’d like to add anything.

1) Follow the Annie Jones Rule.
Many readers agreed with our first commenter, Annie Jones, whose advice could be summed up in a single sentence: “Basically, you just do it.”

• Hillary: What Annie Jones said…
• Shris: Yeah, what Annie Jones said.
• Gabrielle: I agree with Annie's comment. You just do it, and you make it a priority.
• TJ: I agree with the ‘just do it’. The first battle starts in your head, so don’t defeat yourself before starting!
• Heather: Ditto to Annie Jones.
• Kristen@TheFrugalGirl: I have 4 kids and I ditto Annie.
• Todd: The "just do it" answers speak to the reality of parenting. … There are nights where we eat cereal for dinner (which is also fun), but for the most part, you find ways to integrate your family into "life"; it's no fun keeping them separate.

2) Don’t worry about entertaining.
Babysitting and parenting are very different, in that moms and dads don’t have to supervise their children every second.

• Amiyrah: I think when you are a babysitter compared to a parent, you think you just have to make it all work for the kid and move as fast as possible. When you are a parent, that ain't the case.
• Kate Krebs: It's not your job as a parent to entertain your kids 24/7. Your job is to raise healthy, capable adults. That means providing good meals for your kids, and teaching them to entertain themselves quietly while you cook.
• Amy: When they're in their own space, they can play unsupervised with a toy for a while from an astonishingly young age. Kids don't spontaneously combust when not directly observed, most of the time. :)

3) Keep ‘em where you can see ‘em.
Of course, if your children are younger and/or prone to hitting their heads on pointy things (*cough cough*), it helps to have them in your view.

• Rapha: I set up a play area in the kitchen - my daughter plays with her tool bench and the lazy susan is full of her cups/bowls as well as her kitchen toys.
• Lacey: We have a chalk board in the kitchen, which helps.
• Jennifer: The little baby usually sits in a bouncer in the kitchen (& at this point is usually sleeping). Also crayons at the table generally keep my older daughter occupied for a while.

4) Immobilize them.
By this, I mean “put them in a high chair,” not “shoot them with tranquilizer darts."

• Anonymous: The high chair - she can come in the kitchen, sit in her chair and "chop" ingredients, and be out of harm's way.
• Hillary: My babies played on mats nearby when they were tiny and then in the kitchen "cooking," and now, sometimes my toddler watches or cooks with me on a chair strategically placed away from knives and the stove.
• Shris: As they get interested, you perch them on a stepstool/highchair in a safe spot so they can watch. Give them a little bite or pinch or taste of whatever you're adding to the dish to keep their interest.

5) Cook when you can – especially naptime.
Ahh … those blessed two hours when children are totally unconscious. You can breathe, go to the bathroom, and maybe even chop a vegetable.

• Kate E.: Nap time (or a quiet time when the child gets older) is essential for getting things done.
• Jen: Nap time is mostly dedicated to prepping dinner. Or making sauces to freeze, etc.
• Amybee: One thing that works for me is to cook after my kid is in bed for the evening. … I'll make the next night's supper, then all we have to do when we get home from work and school is pull it out and pop it in the microwave.

6) Get the timing down.
Every family lives by its own schedule, but setting a routine when a spouse is around and the kids are sedate (Note: not sedated) will help everyone in the long run.

• Erinlaughs: I think the most important thing is knowing what you can accomplish. We get home at 5:00 and need to be eating by 5:30 or so.
• Gabrielle: I aim for dinner on the table between 5:30 and 6, when my husband comes home. This insures that we'll be finished with dinner by 6:30, the kitchen will be cleaned by 7 (or earlier), and my child can be in bed between 7:30 and 8. But we're flexible when we want to be.
• Hannah @CookingManager: Use a timer, not only to remind you when food is done, but for the next step. (and reset the timer if the food isn't done yet!)

7) Get the kids involved.
It ain’t no urban legend: When children pitch in with their own food prep, they’ll be more invested in their eating. Plus, it’s a good babysitting trick.

• Julie: Get them involved in safe but meaningful ways during meal prep. It is worth the extra time it WILL take to do it.
• Debbie: My 4yo does pretty well with a butter knife and a pile of mushrooms.
• Lindsey: The older one likes to hold the recipe card and pour out what I measure. I can also have him fetch ingredients from the pantry and lower shelves of the fridge.
• Todd: My 9-, 7-, and 5-year-olds all love to help in the kitchen. One will pour bread crumbs while another cracks an egg into the ground beef that the third is mixing with her hands (and they LOVE getting in there with their hands).

8) Enlist your spouse or a helper.
Four hands are better than two. Unless they’re all coming out of the same person. Then it gets kind of weird.

• Marcia: At 18 months...yeah, I wasn't doing much cooking. I waited until spouse got home to start it.
• Shris: If you have a housemate/partner/spouse/other, enlist them in kid-watching while you cook. … [Or] make *them* cook.
• Rachel: What works for me is serving the kids early - around 5:30 or so - and cooking our dinner after and eating later. That way my husband is home and he can hold the baby while I focus on the food.

9) K.I.S.S.
If brevity is the soul of wit, than easy meals are the souls of parental sanity. Keeping things simple and quick will make everyone a little grinnier.

• Milehimama: I have 8 children, age 1-12 … I don't prepare dishes that require constant, lengthy supervision. So I'll make rice - but not risotto. It's not difficult to find 5 minutes to measure water and grains and put it on for a boil, but standing at the stove for a long period of time just isn't going to happen.
• Debbie: Develop an arsenal of super-quick recipes. Bonus points if they're pantry based.
• Jen: I do a lot with roasting vegetables, things I can start on the stove quickly and let simmer.
• Anonymous: Frozen spinach cubes (cooked spinach and cream cheese blended to puree) and sweet potato cubes, perfect for adding to sauces, in pizza or pasta, quesadillas, etc. for a little added boost of nutrition and no added cooking time/effort.
• Anonymous #2: Breakfasts are the hardest. Everyone is hungry RIGHT NOW and even cooking an egg takes too long. We keep it simple and marginally healthy - yogurt, cereal, toast, etc.
• Amy: Lunch is a sandwich and chips and fruit, or mac and cheese, or soup and grilled cheese.
• Katie Krebs: We keep alot of fruit on hand. It makes a good, healthy snack and doesn't require cooking.
• Lyn: I make a Kiddie Sampler Platter, which takes 5 minutes. Basically, little bits of things I know she will like on one plate and mostly finger food: rolled up slices of deli turkey or ham, pieces of fruit, a little bunch of grapes, applesauce, grape-size tomatoes, baby carrots, slices of bell pepper, avocado, cheese, a mini bagel with cream cheese, crackers, etc.

10) Don’t cook separate meals for them.
As a non-parent, this one surprised me the most, but in a good way. Bring on the osso bucco, junior.

• Gabrielle: I refuse to serve one dinner to my toddler and another dinner for my husband and I. I don't purchase fish sticks, chicken nuggets, and french fries because these become the fallbacks of many families with picky children.
• Ashley: I'm a registered dietitian who works with families on limited incomes … Definitely only make one meal, not two separate meals for kids and adults. Offering kids "adult" foods over and over is helpful for dealing with picky eating behaviors.
• Rapha: If we were eating something like sweet potato curry, she would eat the sweet potato pureed. Now at age 3 she always eats what we eat - and she's an amazing eater as a result because she knows if she doesn't eat dinner she doesn't get anything else.
• Jen Blacker: I have a 19 month old … When we go out to dinner, if the place has crappy food to choose from on the kids menu, I just order off of the adult for him ... He eats what he can, then the rest is for leftovers.

11) Embrace the slow cooker.
All the flavor of braising with only a fraction of the mess. Plus, you can walk away from it for eight hours.

• Kathleen Bakka: I make my homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs in the evening after he goes to bed so that I can just turn the crock pot on in the morning for a fantastic homemade dinner meal.
• DRosa: Good easy slow cooker recipe - slice up some chicken strips, pour in a can of coconut milk and a little thai red curry, let cook all day, serve over rice with steamed spinich. Get a rice cooker with a timer and you are golden.

12) Explore big batch and weekend cooking.
Have a few hours to yourself? Start making some kid meals. It’s like meditation, but with meatballs.

• Anonymous: I do the time consuming meals on the weekends when I'm not working. And I make enough so we can eat it one night during the week.
• Anonymous #2: Sunday afternoons are a nice quiet time for me to help do some prep work.
• Anonymous #3: I can slow cooker a pork shoulder with some salsa and we have several nights of burritos, nachos, tacos, etc.
• Anonymous #4: [We] plan to have leftovers revamped from our weekend cooking … We may roast a chicken on Sunday and then plan to have chicken quesidillas one night (super quick to throw together) and chicken soup another (stock made over the weekend after roasting).
• Heather: I would do an entire box of whole wheat pasta tossed with olive oil and store it in the fridge. I could scope out as much as I needed for a meal and add goodies like chopped veggies, cheese, etc.
• Myrnie: We make a batch of goodies every week- cookies, brownies, muffins, etc. for snacks and when they're gone, they're gone. 
• Sarah May: I often use church potlucks or family gatherings as an excuse to prepare something new or special. This lets me satisfy my fancy-cooking urges without stressing about it every day!

13) Menu plan.
It works for everybody, whether you’re a single Brooklyn blogger or a ma of eight.

• Jen Blacker: I plan what my family eats on a menu and stick to it. It saves us money and I create the menu with the sales going on at the grocery store. It's not difficult at all to feed your kids the right way.
• Erinlaughs: Menu plan! I can't stress that enough. It saves me every night.
• Kristen@TheFrugalGirl: Menu planning seriously saves my sanity.
• RaeBerry: Menu planning is the only way to survive.

14) If all else fails, turn to Nickelodeon.
This does not make you a bad person. If anything, it makes you a really good person who wants to feed your kids right.

• Marcia: At age 3 ... I used Dora the Explorer. I admit it. 1/2 hour is all I needed to get things going.
• Shris: Turn on their favorite video or TV show or whatever, and let them zombie-fy for a half hour while you get the dinner done. This is, of course, the least favorite option, but it works really well.
• Craftevangelist: All these other moms are super heroes. My TV goes on to a kids' station at 4:00 if I need to focus on making dinner. Often, I'm still interrupted and the kids love to "help" (usually in an effort to get a snack of what we're preparing).

15) Don’t panic. It gets easier. I think. Maybe not.
I’ll let the commenters take it from here.

• Kathleen Bakka: I remember feeling very overwhelmed when he was first born and my husband feeling slightly jilted when it came to meals- but you get used to it and you begin to streamline your prep and meals.
• Amy: Seriously - kids start off small and immobile and sleepy, and they very g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y get mobile and require higher levels of attention. It's not like they're born needing help with their homework. You come to that over a period of time, and there are lots of stages in between.
• DRosa: It isn't like it gets better. Monday night tennis, Tuesday baseball, Wednesday tennis, Thursday baseball, Friday the inevitable sleepover. By the time we pull in from work, we often have 45 minutes to eat and be out the door. And we only have two.

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES

• Heather: The book Child of Mine, Feeding with Love and Goodsense changed my life. I am so glad I found it when my son was an infant.
• Lindsey: For little little ones, realbabyfood.info is a good resource.
• Gabrielle: I used a cookbook that a friend gave me, called Cooking for Baby, a Williams Sonoma publication. I also referred to Wholesomebabyfood.com for ideas and recipes (and a great chart with age appropriate foods).
• Also, look for Debbie’s cookbook, due next year from Harper Collins. Her blog, Words to Eat By, is one of my dang favorites.

And that’s it, everybody. Thank you boatloads to those who wrote in with advice. This is a subject I couldn’t even touch, and now I have a vague iota of a semblance of a clue.

Again: Best. Readers. Ever.

*Uh, actually, when I initially wrote the question, I addressed it to “moms” instead of “parents.” I try to keep it gender neutral here, because men and women should be equally invested in child raising and home affairs. That was just a huge oversight, and I apologize.

~~~

If you like this piece, you might also enjoy:

• The Hour: How 60 Minutes a Week Can Save Hundreds of Dollars on Food
• Need a Weekly Meal Planner, a Grocery List, or Price Books? We Have 36 of ‘em.
• Understanding the Childhood Obesity Epidemic, Part 1: Causes and Effects

Ask the Internet: Cooking For Small Children?

Today’s question could be tomorrow’s post, sweet readers. It’s from moi.

Q: Last week, my cousin gave birth to a beautiful, tiny baby girl, and I pitched in watching her other two small children. It was great. We ate ice cream, played a ton of Candy Land, and hit that playground like it was our job.

Here’s the thing: they required a lot of supervision. (They’re little kids, after all.) And that meant there was no time to cook. We made do with fruits, veggies, and PB&J, but food involving prep time and an actual heating implement would have been tough to pull off. Never mind doing it three times a day.

So … parents of young children? HOW DO YOU DO IT? When do you cook? What do your kids eat? What’s your schedule like? How do you prevent them from going on an all-Cheerio diet? I’m in awe of y’all (especially you, cuz), and still totally baffled.

P.S. I don’t have kids yet. I don’t know if you could tell.

A: Sweet readers, I want details. And I’d love to turn the answers to this into tomorrow’s post, if possible. It’s an area in which I have very little (read: no) experience, and I know y’all can edu-ma-cate me. Please, fire away.

(Photo from Growing Kids.)

Want to ask the interweb a question? Post one in the comment section, or write to cheaphealthygood@gmail.com. Then, tune in next Tuesday for an answer/several answers from the good people of the World Wide Net.

Italian Turkey Sliders: A One-Act Play

Today on Serious Eats: White Bean and Mushroom Ragout. Plus, a new cookbook find. Rawk.

Masterpiece Blog Theater proudly presents another installation of CHG's ongoing one-act plays.

CHARACTERS
KRIS: an alarmingly freckled 32-year-old food and frugality blogger.
MOTHER NATURE: a faceless, otherworldly entity with omnipotent control over the weather.

SCENE
The back deck of a 110-year-old Brooklyn brownstone that, by all rights, should have been condemned 109 years ago. Kris alofts, and turns her attention toward the sky.

KRIS: Mother Nature! Hi there! It’s Kris!

MOTHER NATURE: Who?

KRIS: Kris? Kinda tall. A little busty. Very near sighted.

MOTHER NATURE: Oh! You! The one with no sense of direction. What up, girl?

KRIS: We have 12 people coming for a potluck dinner today!

MOTHER NATURE: Oooo. Potlucks are the proverbial bomb. What are you making?

KRIS: Italian Turkey Sliders and Potato Salad with Green & White Beans.

MOTHER NATURE: Sweet. Mama likes. What about everybody else?

KRIS: Well, as far as I know:

• R & J: Banana Lemonade and Kettle Corn
• S: Black Bean Dip and Fresh Salsa
• A & A: Berry Trifle and Veggie Skewers
• M & S: Barbecue Pulled Chicken
• L: Hummus
• Leigh & B: Recipe(s) coming Thursday

MOTHER NATURE: Excellent. Send some my way, will you?

KRIS: Uh … but you don’t … have a mouth. Or organs. You’re a foodie?

MOTHER NATURE: Foodie, shmoodie. I’m gonna drop this stuff on washed cars.

KRIS: Oh.

MOTHER NATURE: That Black Bean Dip has a date with my neighbor’s Humvee. Steal MY lawnmower, will you, bud?

KRIS: Makes sense. I guess. But Ma Nature, I have a favor to ask.

MOTHER NATURE: They always do. *sigh* What is it, Magoo?

KRIS: Well here’s the thing: if it rains, we can’t use the backyard. And consequently, we have to stuff everybody – including two toddlers - into an apartment living room the size of a cookie sheet. So, um, can you hold the storms off for like, two or three hours?

MOTHER NATURE: Sure thing!

KRIS: Really?

MOTHER NATURE: No.

KRIS: Oh.

MOTHER NATURE: Ha! Father Time always falls for that, too. Don’t worry kid.

KRIS: So you will stop it from raining?

MOTHER NATURE: No.

KRIS: Um.

MOTHER NATURE: But I’ll tell you what I’ll do: If you give me the recipe for those Italian Turkey Sliders, I’ll make it rain just enough so that you THINK you can stay outside, but after ten minutes, you have to haul everyone and all their food upstairs.

KRIS: That doesn’t sound like a very good deal.

MOTHER NATURE: Wait – I’m not done. Then, I’ll cut it down to a misty drizzle, so everyone moves back outside again.

KRIS: And then you’ll stop the rain altogether?

MOTHER NATURE: Sure.

KRIS: Really?

MOTHER NATURE: No.

KRIS: I don’t like you.

MOTHER NATURE: Then it'll rain for the rest of the afternoon. But you know what they say: False hope is better than no hope at all.

KRIS: I don’t think anyone says that.

MOTHER NATURE: I’m sure someone said it. Anyway, that recipe?

KRIS: Uh. Okay. Here you go.

MOTHER NATURE: Excellent. Hey, hold this lightning for me, will ya?

KRIS: Sure th******** (Kris is electrocuted.)

MOTHER NATURE: Heh. Father Time fell for that one, too.

~~~

If you like this recipe, you might also be stoked by:

• Maque Choux with Chicken and Turkey Sausage
• Turkey Breakfast Sausauge
• Turkey Burgers

~~~

Italian Turkey Sliders
Makes 24 mini-burgers.

1 20-ounce package sweet Italian turkey sausage links (I use Shady Brook. – Kris)
1 20-ounce package 93/7 ground turkey (Shady Brook again. – Kris)
24 slider rolls/mini-hamburger rolls (I use Martin’s Party Potato Rolls. – Kris)
24 small slices part-skim mozzarella cheese (optional)
1/2 cup your favorite tomato sauce (optional)

1) Preheat your grill.

2) Using a knife, make a long slit along each link of the turkey sausage. Remove sausage from casings. Discard casings.

3) Combine turkey sausage in a large bowl with ground turkey. Using your hands, mix/squish until meats are thoroughly combined.

4) Make your slider patties. They should each be approximately 2 to 3 inches across and 3/4-inch thick, with a light thumb indentation in the middle. Store on wax paper until ready to cook. (Note: If you’re refrigerating the patties for later, bring them down to near-room temperature before you slap them on a grill.)

5) Place patties over direct heat and grill 4-6 minutes on each side, until outside is a bit browned and inside is cooked through. When finished, let sit for a few minutes.

6) Place patties on buns. Add mozzarella if you like (you can also do this on the grill), along with a few dabs of your favorite spaghetti sauce. Enjoy.

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price Per Serving
Due warning: I tried to use pretty generic calculations, but these numbers may differ slightly based on the brands you use.
Patty only: 73 calories, 3.9 g fat, 0 g fiber, 8.8 g protein, $0.29
Patty and bun: 117 calories, 4.4 g fat, 1 g fiber, 9.1 g protein, $0.42
Patty, bun, cheese, and sauce: 139 calories, 5.7 g fat, 1 g fiber, 10.9 g protein $0.52

Calculations
1 20-ounce package sweet Italian turkey sausage links: 960 calories, 54 g fat, 0 g fiber, 102 g protein, $2.99:
1 20-ounce package 93/7 ground turkey: 800 calories, 40 g fat, 0 g fiber, 110 g protein, $3.99
24 slider rolls/mini-hamburger rolls: 1040 calories, 12 g fat, 24 g fiber, 6 g protein, $3.19
24 small slices part-skim mozzarella cheese: 432 calories, 27 g fat, 0 g fiber, 41.3 g protein, $1.86
1/2 cup your favorite tomato sauce: 93 calories, 3 g fat, 0.5 g fiber, 2.4 g protein, $0.33
TOTALS: 3325 calories, 136 g fat, 24.5 g fiber, 261.7 g protein, $12.36
PER SERVING (no cheese, sauce, or bun): 73 calories, 3.9 g fat, 0 g fiber, 8.8 g protein, $0.29
PER SERVING (with bun, no cheese or sauce): 117 calories, 4.4 g fat, 1 g fiber, 9.1 g protein, $0.42
PER SERVING (with 1/4 oz cheese and ½ teaspoon tomato sauce): 139 calories, 5.7 g fat,1 g fiber, 10.9 g protein $0.52

Saturday Throwback: 11 Things Dwight K. Schrute Taught Me About Food and Frugality

Every Saturday, we post a piece from the CHG vault. Today, we salute the end of the 2010 television season with this feature from October 2007. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.

Hardworking. Alpha Male. Jackhammer.

A renowned beet farmer, volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy, and Assistant to the Regional Manager at the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company Scranton branch, Dwight K. Schrute embodies all these enviable qualities, and then some. (He’s also merciless and insatiable.) Yet, the goose-bating, martial arts-trained Schrute makes cultural contributions that go far beyond his multiple jobs.

Of course, I refer to his insights.

Our lives can only benefit from Schrute's somewhat obtuse, yet priceless aphorisms. Especially the ones about food. And cooking. And saving money.

So read on, dear … uh, readers. Learn from our fair farmer, and one day you, too, may join the DWIGHT ARMY OF CHAMPIONS.

DWIGHT SAYS: “Michael always says ‘K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid.’ Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Fresh, simple ingredients are the best way to a cheap, healthy meal.
In other words, eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, dabs of dairy, healthy fats and lean meats are the building blocks of delicious dinners and happy digestive systems. In the long run, they cost less and taste better than pre-packaged stuff, too.

DWIGHT SAYS: “My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm ... sometimes teenagers use it for sex.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Buy local.
Not only does it support neighborhood farmers (who need security to keep randy kids away), but food that’s shipped from nearby tastes better, is better for you, and is easier on the environment. See here for more.

DWIGHT SAYS: "First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, 'Wow, I need this beet right now.' Those are the money beets."
DWIGHT MEANS: Knowing how food is marketed is vital to saving cash.
There’s a reason grocery stores put expensive, good-looking food at eye level. It’s the same mentality behind placing pricey victuals in gigantic, showy displays. When you go food shopping, don’t forget to look at the top and bottom shelves - beyond what’s immediately apparent. You’ll spend less. (Also: Stick to the perimeter of supermarkets, shop from the circular, only use coupons for stuff you’d buy anyway, keep a price book, etc.)

DWIGHT SAYS: “Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Bottled water is a big, wet cheat.
Packing a thermos from home, using the cooler at the office, or simply gathering H2O from the tap can conserve up to $600 per year, depending on how often you buy bottled. (See here, here, and here for more.)

DWIGHT SAYS: “Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years, which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique; it's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of 4 until my 6th birthday, for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Save leftovers, or suffer the terrible consequences.
Whether it’s excess mashed potatoes or those last two slices of pizza, try to pack your extras away. It’ll keep your portion size down, make a delicious office meal the next day, and put your lunch money back where it belongs – in your pocket.

DWIGHT SAYS: "Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces."
DWIGHT MEANS: Don’t play around with food safety.
Yeah, I think this one's pretty self-explanatory.

DWIGHT SAYS: “In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead.’ Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Eating smart and modestly will save your money and your life.
Obesity contributes to heart disease, diabetes, and cancer – all difficult and expensive illnesses to treat. (See Get Rich Slowly’s The High Cost of Being Fat.) Plus, it makes it very difficult to run away from lions.

DWIGHT SAYS: “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Find a food anti-idol.
Imagine your most extravagant friend. You know, the high roller - the one that doesn’t think twice about his finances. For what does he dole out the most dough? If he’s anything like my big-spender buds, it’s food. Learn from his bad example and try to use good judgment when buying groceries, ordering out, or settling down for a restaurant meal.

DWIGHT SAYS: [to Toby's daughter] “Hello, tiny one. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!”
DWIGHT MEANS: Teach your children well.
When it comes to eating and budgeting, kids learn largely from the examples set by their parents. Whether it’s having dinner together or serving more vegetables, changing a bad habit or starting a few good ones will benefit them for life.

DWIGHT SAYS: “When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Honest change can not come until one is truly ready.
If you’re looking to cut costs or make a switch to simpler foods, you must first commit yourself to the idea, and then be ready to follow through on the behaviors. Think of it like smoking: every single person on Earth can warn you to stop, but until you want to, there’s no chance.

DWIGHT SAYS: “I do not fear the unknown. I will meet my new challenges head-on, and I will succeed, and I will laugh in the faces of those who doubt me.”
DWIGHT MEANS: You don’t know unless you try.
So you’d like to make more money, cook more wholesome meals, lose a few pounds. What’s stopping you? Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from reaching your dreams - gastronomic, economic, and otherwise.

(Catch more of Dwight on The Office every Thursday on NBC.) Photos from Flickr and Buddy TV.

Top 10 Links of the Week: 6/4/10 – 6/10/10

Sorry I’ve been a bit incommunicado this week, folks. I was babysitting my brilliant, blue-eyed cousins while their mama gave them a sibling. (More on this in next week’s Ask the Internet.) But hey! Look! Links!

ETA: You guys! Ack. We've been made aware of the problem with the non-disappearing ads on Explorer. We're currently working to make it go away. Apologies for that.

1) Get Rich Slowly: Extreme Personal Finance – Eating Well on One Dollar a Day
Whoa. This is hardcore. “On the final day of his project, Jeffrey summarized his purchases. During the month of May, he spent $27.08 to purchase $597.96 worth of food.” Well worth the read.

2) The Kitchn: 15 Essential Dips and Spreads for Summer Parties
OMG, it’s a dip bonanza! I’m printing this out and spooning with it for a few hours. If you need me, hit my cell. Or make me some pita chips.

3) Related posts:
Money Saving Mom: 28 Extreme Measures We Took to Stay Out of Debt
Get Rich Slowly: Surviving and Thriving
Link #1: Wow. These are some of the more radical steps Crystal and her husband took to stay debt-free while he was in law school. I can relate to some of them – not owning a car is pretty easy in Brooklyn – but others … just wow.
Link #2: Donna had $130 to her name after her divorce, but scratched and clawed her way to solvency and peace. Quite a tale, yo.

4) Related posts:
Hillbilly Housewife: Nutritious And Frugal Food Choices That Stretch The Family Budget
Frugal Dad: How to Stockpile Food for Survival
Link #1: What are the absolute baseline foods you need if disaster should hit your pantry? Can you afford them? Will they provide decent nutritional value? HH has ideas.
Link #2: A nice companion piece to HH’s post. This could be particularly relevant to folks in Louisiana right now. Jeez, what a mess.

5) New York Times: In New York, Local Meat is Easier to Find
Based on the title, you’d think we have cows and chickens wandering the streets of Brooklyn, waiting to be hit by Chinese delivery trucks and turned into kebabs. Alas, that ain’t it. In reality, we have a big number of fabulous farmers markets, a bunch of regional breeders/farmers, and a population that’s clamoring for more (and has the money to pay for it). Is this the changing face of meat? Hope so.

6) The Kitchn: From Our Readers - Tips for New Graduates and New Cooks
High school and college grads! Are you being freed into productive society, with little idea of how to boil water, much less make a decent pork chop? Never fear. This neat roundup of I-Wish-I-Knew-Then cooking ruminations should help.

7) Casual Kitchen: Why Do Products Go On Sale?
Man, what a great question! And what a thorough, informative answer about one of the reasons. Really, this explains a lot about Honey Bunches of Oats.

8) Associated Press: Millions forced to wait for food stamps benefits
The backlog in food stamp applicants has left quite a few families without means of feeding themselves. Texas, Florida, Colorado, Nevada, and bizarrely, Rhode Island, are among the states hardest hit. (Apologies. I just never think of bad things happening to Rhode Island, probably since it’s only slightly larger than my living room.)

9) Slashfood: Zero-Waste Living – Could You Do it?
When we began eating healthier (dried goods, more veggies, etc.), we reduced our trash by a huge amount. But reducing it entirely? Is that even possible? As it turns out, maybe.

10) New York Times: Study Examines a Diet From TV Ads
What’s wrong with food advertising? This: “If Americans ate only foods advertised on TV, a new report says, they would consume 25 times the recommended amount of sugar and 20 times the amount of fat they need, but less than half the dairy, and fruits and vegetables.”


HONORABLE MENTION

Chow: The Top Grocery-Store Etiquette Gaffes
In the center of Brooklyn, there’s a Pathmark that doubles as the starting point for the Apocalypse. (Consumerist has written stories about the Target next door, where Satan buys his discount furniture.) I wish everyone that’s ever visited would read this column.

Consumerist: Which Food Brands Are You Most Loyal To?
291 comments, and it’s looking like Heinz and Diet Coke prevail.

HuffPo: 'Consumer Reports' Gives Top Rating To 7-11 Chardonnay
Woo hoo! White wine and taquitos, together at last.

Money Saving Mom: Time-Saving Tips for Cooking from Scratch
Good tips and link roundup about ways to save time and money in the kitchen.

The Simple Dollar: Summer Meal Series #1 – Honey Mustard Chicken Strips
Trent’s posting an inexpensive, taste-tested, child-friendly recipe every week all summer. This is his first foray. Looks pretty good.


AND ALSO

Neatorama: Rice University Students Invented Salad Spinner Centrifuge to Detect Anemia
A few days ago, I read an article about prep school boys who set up a Fantasy Sex League, assigning values to girls/classmates based on appearance and sexual acts performed. It made me sick in the WHAT IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY type way. (P.S. Way to go, guys! Those organizational skills should come in really helpful after your first rape convictions.)

Then, immediately after, I read the Neatorama piece, about college students at Rice University who were challenged to create “an inexpensive, portable tool that could diagnose anemia without access to electricity.” So, they made a centrifuge out of a salad spinner. It’s now being tested in Malawi and Swaziland, and it made humanity okay again. Woo hoo! Yay kids!

Thank you so much for visiting Cheap Healthy Good! (We appreciate it muchly). If you’d like to further support CHG, subscribe to our RSS feed! Or become a Facebook friend! Or check out our Twitter! Or buy something inexpensive, yet fulfilling via that Amazon store (on the left)! Bookmarking sites and links are nice, too. Viva la France!

Veggie Might: DIY Microwave Popcorn - Reinventing the Wheel

Penned by the effervescent Leigh, Veggie Might is a weekly Thursday column about the wide world of Vegetarianism.

Three things are guaranteed when I try to make something from scratch:

1. After having a Brilliant Idea, I will attempt it with only minimal planning.
2. There will a mess/tears/fire.
3. I will discover someone else has successfully accomplished my task (and published instructions) before me, rendering 1 & 2 unnecessary.

I’ve been on a popcorn kick lately, and I’m not a fan of the microwave variety (too expensive, processed butter-gunk). Normally, I make it from scratch in a big pot on the stove.

But as you know, if you’ve made popcorn the old-fashioned way, you have to watch it carefully, shaking the pot to keep the kernels from scorching. Why, I wanted to know, couldn’t I have my supa-natural homemade popcorn in a convenient microwave package (and without the added clutter of an air popper)?

My thought train followed this approximate track: Microwave popcorn is in a paper bag. I have those. Microwave popcorn bags are sealed with glue. I have that. Staples would probably set the microwave on fire. I’ve done that before and would not like to repeat. Okay let’s do this.

On my first attempt, I recycled a small brown paper bag (named Testela) from a local bakery. I put in 2 tbsp of popcorn, sealed it with a tiny bit of basic white glue, and set the micro for 4 minutes, just like for store bought. Just about all the kernels popped—not at all like store bought.

That’s right. No mess, no tears, no fire. Just delicious, perfectly popped popcorn—the perfect amount for one person, about 2 and 1/2 cups. Wheel: reinvented.

On subsequent attempts, I tried bigger bags and more popcorn with varied success—and dispensed with the glue. Folding over the edge is enough to keep the bag closed while popping.

The key to microwave popcorn success is matching the size of the bag to the amount of popcorn you want to pop, yet allowing the carousel in the microwave to turn as the bag expands. Stationary popcorn is burnt popcorn. Lunch-sized bags seem to work best.

The largest bag I tried, a mid-sized, take-out bag named Sandra Kilcan (seriously, check the bottom the next time you get a paper bag with your tea and muffin) was a bit too large for my microwave.

She got stuck in the spin of the carousel, and some of the kernels burnt while cooking. But a quick smoosh of the bag to push in the corners got things turning again. After 4 minutes, I dumped out the cooked kernels, and reheated the remainders for 2 more minutes.

That’s right. I broke the cardinal rule of microwave popcorn. I dumped out the popped kernels and REHEATED THE UNPOPPED KERNELS! And do you know what happened? Almost all of THOSE KERNELS POPPED! Take that Big Popcorn! Six minutes to nearly perfect popcorn.

Still, I recommend using a smaller bag and sticking with at 1/4 cup or less. That way you don’t have to hover, which is the whole point. Save time, save money, and save that butter-gunk for someone else.

Let’s recap:

DIY Microwave Popcorn

1) Recycle a small paper bag, preferably one with a cool name like Rocco Martinez.

2) Fill with 1/4 cup popcorn kernels. Fold over the edge and place in the microwave with the flap-side down.

3) Microwave on high up to 4 minutes. Check to make sure the carousel is turning. If your bag gets stuck, open the microwave and give it a little nudge, folding or reshaping the bag if necessary.

4) When the popping stops, dump the popped kernels into a bowl. Reheat any remaining kernels for up to 2 minutes.

5) Combine all the popcorn and season as desired. (I like mine sprinkled with a little salt and nutritional yeast—vegan cheesy.) Save the bag for another go.

6) Enjoy your delicious, healthy popcorn, free from processed butter-gunk and save some serious scratch.

Nutrition and Cost Comparison
Newman’s Own Butter Flavor Microwave Popcorn
3.5 cup serving: Calories: 170, Fat: 11g, Fiber:3g, Protein: 2g, $.96

DIY Microwave Popcorn 1/4 tbsp = 5 cups popcorn
5 cup total: Calories: 124, Fat: 2g, Fiber: 4g, Protein: 4g, $.08
2.5 cup serving: Calories: 62, Fat: 1g, Fiber: 2g, Protein: 2g, $.04

If this article tips your canoe, swim on over to

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